An Ode To Harmony And Discord

You gave me the best sleep of my life,

Soft nothing’s whispered tenderly

On the gentle melodious breeze,

In the warm grasp of slumber.


Resting upon the wind of dreams,

I betray myself, ignorant

Of the truth that you hide, content

In the tender embrace of lies.


When I wake to my nightmare,

The hold you had now eludes me,

Denying me the fix I need,

Addicted to the harmony of your voice.


Bathing in the bile of my thoughts,

I deny myself, abhorrent

Creature reflected in the mirror,

Lost in the urban forest.


Confusion can still bring meaning,

Deluding myself each day,

Trying to convince my worst critic,

That I am still of some value.


Will the world always be chaos?

The storm you brewed still rages,

Upon the ground I tread, in my mind

Battles the endless argument.


An Ode To Lost Youth

Lamenting life,
I’ve signed away my future,
All grand plans for me? No longer.
Shackled by the remorse of responsibility.

Farewell to dreams,
Now I have bills to pay,
Lock down my risky emotions,
To keep the peace; discontent not shown.

Facing the truth,
My freedom died long ago,
These compromises only serve
To compromise my future happiness.

My youth is spent,
It wasted away long ago,
“For the sake of others” it’s eulogy,
“Fool” should be written on my tombstone.

Summers Blush

My garden flushes with the colour

Of cherry blossom pink,

The flower buds put petals on display

Across summer-sun bathed plots,

As I stare at the one I love.


Like a long past sunburns mark

They glow sheen of red,

In the reflection of my crushes

Unbuttoned shirt that dances on a breeze,

As I back into the shadows.


Their words silent as my eyes linger on lips

So soft a tone I drift away,

Day dreams of walking on the beach

And being cradled in their arms; shaken

Awake by their concerned touch.


I can sense the garden blooming brightly

As the lure of the setting sun,

Drifts me closer towards their mouth

And dare I attempt a kiss,

As they look into my honest eyes.


An abusive relationship with life,
With constant temptation all around,
This island of I keeps getting harder to see,
Buried by the demands and desires of others.
Depression is like the reaper stalking his prey,
Dark and elusive until its too late,
Your mind becomes dull and hard to explain,
Lost in a fog as dense as a cloud.
Locked up in chains and can not escape,
The past is a nightmare foreshadowing life,
To look to the future, a constant dismay,
Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead.

The Haze (WIP)

‘The Haze’ was a phenomena from way back, I remember how my dad used to talk about it all the time, he was only a kid himself when it first came out and as I got older he would tell me stories of the rise of the ‘Haze’ cults. I became obsessed. It always fascinated me how a show on the television could lead to such a huge worldwide problem. So, I decided to devote my time to a documentary on ‘The Haze’ and what many still refer to the anti-cultism as; ‘The Haze Wars’.

It took me a while, but I managed to find an illegal copy of ‘The Haze’ and began watching it to go alongside my investigation, keeping it all to my self. After-all, if I told the people I planned to interview, that I am watching the show, they may well report me or even take me in themselves, ‘The Haze’ show itself, was made illegal. Nobody is allowed to watch it, by law. This only fed my obsession, my curiosity.
October 1st, 10am.

Today I had a meeting with an old BoI at the ‘Otterwald’ casino, he would be wearing a black suit and Crimson tie. But, who wasn’t? Today must have been the worst day to choose, every older man seemed to be wearing exactly the same thing and I stuck out like a sore thumb, in my baggy clothes carrying my “hand-held”, the most popular personal camcorder an amateur could wish for.

I waited in the buffet-bar, the table closest to the view, not that you could call a huge window looking out over the main foyer “a view”, but I wouldn’t argue. I sat for what seemed like an hour, toying at the ice in my cola with a straw, camera rest atop the table as I took in “the view”. People watching was quite interesting in this place, so many characters, I scrutinised them all as I attempted to poke holes in my ice cubes.
“You must be him”
I felt a hand come down on my shoulder from behind, making me jolt in my seat, twisting to look back. An older man, old enough to be around my age, back when it was important.
“Yeah, I think so?”
“You’re watching them all, huh?”
“You must be him, inquisitive mind, nosey, poking into things you’re not meant to” he motioned his head, seeming to indicate toward what I was doing with my drink.
As I realised I was still prodding at my ice, I stopped and gestured with the hand for him to sit down.
“Why don’t we start? Have a seat”
“No” he looked around.
“Not here” his hand finally left my shoulder as he shifted to the side of the table.
“Come with me”
He didn’t give me a chance to protest, comment or even finish my 24 omen glass of cola before he was walking away, rushing me out of my seat. I was at least five feet away before I ran back to get my camera.
“Come on, I need a stiff drink” he headed straight for the bar on the opposite side of the casino.
“And you’re paying”
I’m paying? Crap! I hurried after the old BoI that still hadn’t introduced himself, or proved anything to me. Sure enough he’d ordered something before I even arrived.
“Wait, I can’t afford this…” he turned to look at me, holding his extravagant cocktail.
“You’re a journalist, right?”
“Kinda” the old BoI stared up at me from a straw, I had to hold back my amusement.
“Well, I’m paying for this documentary out my own pocket”
He wasn’t amused, setting his cocktail down to continue to stare at me with an all too obvious expression.
“My dad used to tell me stories, I”
“Now, let me stop you there” he rose from his seat to grab me by the shoulder, again.
“I’m not talking about this stuff, unless I have some motivation, understand?”
I’d stared at him for a while before he finally released my shoulder with a drawn out sigh, settling back down to his cocktail while gesturing firmly with a hand for me to join him. So I did.
“I need to be well lubricated, kid” he toyed with his extravagant straw, stirring the mixture.
“I’m 27”
He scoffed “Young enough”


I kissed it.

I don’t know why I kissed it, but I did.  And, I liked it too.  Even though it looked rough and bark-like to the touch, it’s, what I can only imagine to be a face was, soft, smooth, pleasant to the touch of my lips upon the silken leafy texture of its, mouth.  I think I surprised it.  Alex, I mean.  I had to think of a name, but it’s all too difficult when you don’t know his, her, its, sex.  Not that it really matters, Alex cares for me and I care for Alex.  We don’t share words, Alex doesn’t know how to talk, but there are these, smells.  No, not smells, smell is not a pleasant word.  Scents, fragrances, perfumes, these wonderful, drowning senses that pull me away from reality for all but a moment, just long enough for me to know exactly what Alex is saying.

No.  It wasn’t always that easy, when we first met, I thought Alex was going to kill me.  The way it held my arm so tight, I could feel my bone aching and my hand go numb.  The axe almost took my foot off when I dropped it, but I don’t blame Alex, no.  How could I?  Not now, when I too protect the same forest, love every plant, every animal.  I used to speak to Alex, back when we knew nothing about each-other and were close to being enemies.  I tried to plead for some wood, branches, sticks, something to make a fire and stay warm, but Alex didn’t understand, not until my fear of death and cold overwhelmed me.  Alex could smell it on me and it was then I found out, Alex wasn’t evil, or selfish, Alex just, was.

We spend our time in my little cabin now.  We came to an arrangement; it let me cut down some trees that were old, dying, or diseased.  Never healthy ones, Alex would lead and I would follow, only ever touching the ones directly beside Alex as it eased the trees pain while my axe bit into its body until it finally fell.  Alex would help me carry the tree, watch me with interest, curiosity of how and why I did what I needed to do to make the log the right size and shape to build our cabin.

Our, cabin.

We are like a married couple now, I suppose.  We spend our time together in the cabin I built, the cabin allowed me to build in a clearing in its forest.  There was no real price, I am sure if I wanted to, Alex would let me stay here for nothing.  But, I felt I needed to do something, to deserve to be here, to stay with Alex.

I kept my axe sharpened using the stones by the river, it came in handy to scare off other humans like me.  People who didn’t understand the forest like me and Alex do.  They were a danger to the forest, the animals.  I would hunt one every week, keep it small and on rare occasions, sometimes even Alex would have a taste, but never liked it.

I kissed it.

I kissed Alex and Alex seemed to like it too, despite its surprise, I could smell it, that sweet scent of maple and sap.

Our cabin has never smelt any different, ever since.  Every day that same sweet scent.  That same, sweet, Alex.

It will never be the same.

I’m sorry Alex, I’m only human.

Only you can live forever.